Erotic Spanking: The Ultimate Illustrated Guide

After years or sometimes just months of sex with the same partner, the act of love can quickly become stale.

Your once impassioned frolic becomes a chore. Or maybe the passion is still there, but the flames have begun to subside.

Well, I have good news for you: Your sex life doesn't have to be ordinary.

There are many ways to add spark. But porn spanking is an easy way.

So, whether you want to be strung up by the legs and paddled mercilessly, or introduce your partner to painful pleasures, this illustrated guide is for you.

Now, are you ready to paddle? Then keep reading!

Erotic spanking tools: paddles, whips, etc.

Hands are a great "tool" when you start dabbling in erotic spanking. But soon, you and your partner may want more. So, what tools can you use?


When you first venture into the world of erotic spankings, the paddle will likely be the first tool you encounter in your research. A paddle is a flat (often rectangular) object on the end of a handle. The paddle can be made of various materials, including wood and leather. You’d be surprised at just how many paddle variations there are. A few of these include padded paddles, paddles with slots, paddles with ridged edges, and more.


If you're ready to take it up a notch, the floggers are the next tool in your arsenal. The end of the sex toy handled by the floggers contains dozens of soft leather strips. When the flogger is used, the strips come into contact with the skin, ranging in intensity from itching to intense stinging.

Floggers are a fun tool to add to your spanking sessions because they can vary.

The most basic floggers will only contain regular plain straps, or tassels, while the ends of others will contain notches. You can get floggers with smooth straps, woven straps, and anything in between.


A cane can be used for a quick spanking and is often the most painful spanking toy on the market.

If you and your partner want to increase the intensity, a cane is one of the most intense spanking tools available. Spanking canes, sometimes called punishment sticks, are rigid objects made of wood, leather, plastic, or metal.

I recommend that you do not use crutches until you and your partner have used various other spanking tools. Using a cane can easily become too clumsy, and the pain it can cause is often underestimated by spankers. However, when you and your partner are ready to use crutches, remember to use clear communication throughout the session.


A step up from the flogger is the whip. So, what's the difference between the two?

As mentioned earlier, the flogger is a handling object with dozens of straps at the end. However, the whip is a processed object with only a light strip at the end. The strip itself is a whip, and when it lands on the skin, it can do anything from causing a slight itch to pumping blood.

The great thing about whips is that you can hit your partner with them even if you're not directly behind them. This is because the straps are usually quite long, which provides some versatility. You should try a variety of different whips, including handles, strap types and materials, to find one that you and your partner like.

How to Choose the Right Tool

If you're just starting out, the sheer number of tool options can be daunting.

So where would you start?

The easiest place to start is with a paddle or flogger. These can be found at any sex store, even on popular online marketplaces like Paddle and flogger are great introductory toys for spanker and spankee alike, and they're very versatile.

When you're ready for some more advanced spanking toys, whips and canes are also available. You can pair them with other BDSM toys such as ball plugs and eye masks. Just make sure to always communicate with your partner in a clear way.

The Best Positions for Spanking

You may be surprised at just how many positions (and variations!) are ideal for spanking. Here are just a few.

  • Bent Over a Surface

If the spanker wants a bit more movement, then bending their partner over a surface is another position to use. The spankee will bend themselves forward at the waist. They can do so over a counter, tabletop, bedside, or another flat surface.

The spanker can then stand behind them, either directly or to the side, and spank them with their hands, paddle, or even a whip. In this position, the spanker can move more freely and can therefore vary their distance, speed, and intensity more easily.

  • Lying Flat on the Bed

In this position, the spankee will lie on its stomach. The spanker can then spank them while lying on the bed themselves while sitting on the bed beside them, or while standing next to or at the end of the bed.

This position is a great time to pull out the whips and canes. The length of these sex toys will make it easier for the spanker to reach their target.

  • Laid Over the Knee

If you’re going for the classic spanking technique, then the spankee laid over the spanker’s knee is the way to go. With the spanker sitting on the edge of a chair, couch, or bed, have the spankee lay themselves stomach first over the spanker’s knee.

The spankee may have to kneel on the floor to support themselves, or they may use another object as a prop. From this angle, the spanker can use their hand or a short spanking tool, such as a paddle, to spank their partner.

  • Standing With Hands Down

This position is similar to the one where the spankee is bent over a surface. The difference, however, is that the spankee will be bent entirely forward.

The spankee will place their hands on the floor, and the spanker can then stand behind them.

NOTE: It’s important that the spankee does not lock their knees while in this position. Keep the knees slightly bent to prevent fainting as a result of blood pooling in the leg veins.

A variation of this is a standing ankle grab. The spankee will still bend over fully in front of the spanker, but they’ll use their hands to grab their ankles instead of placing them on the ground.

  • On Hands and Knees

Whether you want to spank during sex (doggie style, anyone?) or you just want the spankee to be in a more vulnerable position, then on hands and knees is the way to go.

The spankee will get onto the floor or a table. They’ll use their hands and knees to support themselves with their bodies forming a bridge-like shape.

The spanker will then get behind them or to the side of them. The spanker can use their hand of course, but this position also enables the use of tools like the flogger or cane.

If the spanking will occur during doggie style, for example, then shorter tools like the paddle may be preferred.

  • Kneeling

One last position, and one that you may not have considered, is the kneeling position.

In this position, the spankee will kneel on their knees. They can kneel in a more traditional manner, with their lower and upper legs forming an ‘L’ shape. Or they can kneel completely with their haunches hovering just above their feet.

The spanker can sit or kneel directly behind their partner, or they can sit to the side. If the spankee is kneeling on a raised surface, such as a couch or bed, the spanker can stand beside them.

The kneeling position is ideal for paddles and floggers, as the spanker can access the sides of the buttocks most easily. You can attempt whips and canes in this position, though the angle may make it difficult to make thorough contact.

How to Add Spanking to Your Usual Routine

Do you want to practice erotic spanking just for the sake of doing so? That’s great! But most people want to find a way to work it into their sexual encounters.

So, how do you do so?

It depends on the level of intensity, as well as what you and your partner prefer. Erotic spanking is a great way to arouse your partner. You may use it as part of your foreplay, or even sprinkle it throughout your session.

This is a great method for those who simply use spanking to get both the spanker and spankee into the mood, or for those who are just getting started.

If your spanking sessions are more intense, however, and they often lead to bruising and welts, then you’ll likely want to save it for the end of your sexual foray. You can use spanking as a final sexual “release,” or as a way to wind down your session.