Think about foreplay

I firmly believe that our perspective on foreplay needs to be changed. Instead of being viewed as a rewarding experience in and of itself, it is instead considered as something we do to prepare for the main meal. Not to mention the myth that foreplay is only for vulva owners; however, penis owners can benefit just as much from it. It is true that vulva owners need more foreplay to become fully aroused.

It seems that we now rush through sex to get to the wonderful orgasmic reward at the end, much like we do in many other aspects of life.  But when we take our time and engage in sensual foreplay—which, as you well know, is the main attraction of sex—there is so much more pleasure to be had!

My best advice for better foreplay is:

  1. When engaging in foreplay, you should be curious and eager to get to know your spouse better. By adopting this mindset, you can make it a fun journey you both go on and lower the pressure to deliver. It's quite OK that each of you has both things you love and despise.
  2. Begin by focusing on non-genital contact while exploring the other regions of the body. There are countless locations on our bodies where we can enjoy sexual activity, yet these locations are generally ignored. You stumble onto some erogenous regions that were previously unidentified!
  3. Make use of all of your senses to heighten arousal and emotion. By engaging all five senses, we can create an experience much more dramatic and immersive. Use edible body paint, fragrant candles or oils, whisper in each other's ears, put on a seductive soundtrack, or even just look in the mirror as an experiment.
  4. To experience a wider range of feelings, spend some money on brand-new personal gear or sex toys. Spanking instruments like floggers or spanking paddles, as well as vibrators or clitoral suction toys, can feel great when used gently on various regions. The trick is to experiment and find what works for you.

Bring back your passion for kissing—not just on the lips, either! When kissing someone, you can use those techniques on any part of their body, including their neck, the small of their back, their inner thighs, and even during oral sex. Kissing is a fantastic way to build up suspense.

Have a continuous, honest conversation about sex so that you both feel more comfortable disclosing what you like and don't like in order to become experts at fulfilling each other. Ask your spouse if they prefer it to be faster, slower, harder, or kinder when you touch them. These are great themes for filthy chat!