WHAT IS PEGGING?

For those who haven’t come across the term yet, it’s the sexual practice where (traditionally) a female partner wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates a man anally. BUT, it also includes lesbian play with the same equipment.

Simple, yeah?

Not so much … because it scares a lot of people (mostly guys). Also because there are still ridiculous misconceptions about anything involving the anus.

Let’s clear up a few of those now.

• The anal area is full of nerve endings and can be pleasurable for anyone regardless of their or orientation.
• Enjoying anal play has nothing to do with being gay or straight.
• Women have a g-spot, men have something similar. It’s called a p-spot (prostate).
• The anal canal itself is fairly clean. Accidents usually only happen if your partner doesn’t go to the bathroom beforehand.
• Anal sex can be just as pleasurable as other kinds of stimulation.
• Being pegged does not make someone less of a man.

But will everyone like it? No. Some are too uncomfortable to even think about it to relax – and relaxation is the key to pleasurable anal play.

ADVICE FOR BEGINNERS & THE CURIOUS

My submissive loved being pegged, so I have enough experience to know the ins and outs of the process.

First, it’s no different from any other kind of anal sex. Your partner needs be relaxed and the anus needs to be slowly stimulated and stretched out.

REMEMBER: He’s not going to be stretching it that much – we're not talking about porn here.

Think of it this way, you have daily bowel movements that are of comparable girth. Plus, the anus muscles will go back to normal after you’re done. So forget the myth that it will be stretched out forever.

• Try using "anal trainers" if you're having difficulty – they are butt plugs that start very thin and gradually increase in thickness.
• After using trainers, you can move on to larger models or vibrating butt plugs.
• Thinner dildos are also better for beginners or those who prefer smaller sizes.

I’ve already written a dedicated article for it – I strongly suggest reading it as a supplement to this guide. 30+ Tips on How to Have Anal Sex Without the Ouch

USE LOTS OF LUBE!

The anus doesn’t get wet like a vagina and it will need lots of lubrication.

And when say lots, I mean: apply lube, insert, add more, insert again. Repeat. And probably repeat again. Whatever you think is enough, add more … and then more, and as you play … and more again. Also, avoid warming and cooling lubes as they might do more harm than good.

Get a lubricant that’s specifically meant for anal sex (the anal environment has a different pH) and check if it’s water-based or silicone.

• If it is water-based, you’re good to go.
• If it’s silicone, make sure your dildo is NOT SILICONE.
• IMPORTANT: Silicone disintegrates silicone = ruined toy.
• Want to know more about lube? Check out this guide – The HUGE Lube Guide – Everything You Need to Know About the Slick Stuff.

GET A GOOD HARNESS

Don’t bother with those low-quality small harnesses. You need something that is going to fit you securely, without shifting around or coming undone – and therefore moving the dildo around in uncomfortable ways.

This one is an example of a good harness. It has different-sized rings and adjustable leg and hip straps. The material of the strap-on dildo will generally stay put without being uncomfortable. And you can use any toy you want.

Also, make sure the dildo base is wide enough that it won’t slip through the harness ring.

When you’re ready to go, slowly insert the dildo and hold onto the base so you have more control over the thrusting and your partner can find their comfort zone.

ONE FINAL NOTE

Many guides include "how to talk to your partner about (insert sexual act here)" but there’s already something similar in the anal guide … AND it doesn’t matter how much preparation or advice you get, every couple’s conversation will be different.

The main thing is to be patient, non-judgmental, open, and caring. And if they give you a firm NO, then that’s your answer.

Don’t push things and respect their feelings.